If there’s a point where even the most skeptical Mystery Science Theater 3000 will believe the show is back in every way, it’s this Roger Corman produced disaster movie which is a disaster in many ways.
Back in 1979, when Hollywood made movies where big buildings burned and the earth shook in Sensarround, there was Avalanche with Rock Hudson and Mia Farrow before she met Woody Allen. Hudson plays a developer who wants to expand his ski resort despite political and legal problems, Farrow plays his ex-wife and reporter, and he apparently wants her back.
There’s other plot lines like a skater threatened by a rival (“Tonya Harding in Sophie’s Choice on Ice“), Farrow being attracted by a photographer, and skiing. They get buried, literally, when the avalanche finally happens a little late in the film.
What’s interesting about the MST version is that they cut out nearly all of the credits, so you don’t know Robert Forster and Jeannette Nolan are in this movie unless you looked it up. The bots also get really bored by the story, and actually try to speed up the avalanche by using cymbals. It’s more proof of how improved puppetry helps the gang interact more with the movie.
They also borrow something from Cinematic Titanic: the bots use drones to hide the bare breasts of a woman giving Rock some orange juice. After all, this is a family show.
The host segments, though, are the best. First, we find out Kinga has a “boyfriend” named Neville (Neil Patrick Harris) who she only knows via social media.
They finally see each other, and sing a lovely song about “internet love.”
This is killing Max, and he also sings his feelings about it. It also doesn’t help that Kinga says she hates Max not because it hurts his feelings but because it’s a fact. Look at his pain:
Is Kinga’s romance too good to be true? Well, when she suggests they meet in person, Neville just says, “FTW, K?” Seeing Kinga slink away in disappointment is so painful, even though she treats everyone else terribly.
This unrequited love between Kinga and Max is pretty weird, compared to the Clayton Forrester/TV’s Frank relationship. Max lusting after Kinga may have been more appropriate a couple of seasons later, but right off the bat.
Later, Jonah and the bots complain about lousy movies (hello, SyFy) that combine natural disasters with anything. Some examples include “Tor-NATO”, “Lemonado”, “Beet Wave” and”Cari-BOO”. Kinga, of course, disagrees with this, and punches Max, just because.
The last segment is Gypsy singing torch songs connected with the movie. She’s come a long way from “Gypsy Rose ME!” from the old days.
RIFFS:
Rock and Mia kiss
You taste like Andre Previn
The guests party at night, a lot of disco.
We want to hear California Lady
Best line is why the bots want the avalanche to happen:
It really says something that this avalanche has more emotional range than Mia Farrow.
After big lizards, Bigfoot, and time travel, it took a disaster to get MST3K in the right groove at last. Next time, we head to what could be described as Jurassic Ranch.
